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BIFF: Quick Responses To High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email And Social Media Meltdowns
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We live in an age of rapid change and instant communication. We also live in a Culture of Blame and Disrespect, creating a need to manage our responses to high-conflict people. A BIFF Response can be applied in any communication anywhere – online, social media, in a letter or even in person. It can be used at work, earning you respect and success. It can help you get along with difficult family members, friends, neighbors and others anywhere in your life.BIFF was designed to protect you and your reputation by responding quickly and civilly to people who treat you rudely, while being reasonable in return.BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. A BIFF response is easy to remember, but hard to do. It takes practice! This little book gives over 20 examples of BIFF responses for all areas of life—plus additional tips to help you deal with high-conflict people anywhere.This Second Edition includes a new chapter on Coaching for BIFF Responses. Anyone can use this method to help someone else with a BIFF response – by asking 10 simple questions to make it even more effective.Another helpful tool to shift high-conflict people from blaming to problem-solving is So, What's Your Proposal: Shifting High-Conflict People from Blaming to Problem-Solving, also by Bill Eddy.Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, author, and president of High Conflict Institute. He developed the "high conflict personality" theory and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high-conflict personalities and personality disorders.

Paperback: 176 pages

Publisher: Unhooked Books; 2 edition (September 16, 2014)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1936268728

ISBN-13: 978-1936268726

Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.5 x 8.4 inches

Shipping Weight: 0.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)

Best Sellers Rank: #20,254 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #9 in Books > Business & Money > Human Resources > Conflict Resolution & Mediation #41 in Books > Self-Help > Communication & Social Skills #43 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Violence in Society

Someone needs to make clear concise instruction books for the hell and chaos that personality disorder brings to relationships and divorce. urgggg. Wish for everyone's sake that the conditions didn't exist but because they do, people like Bill Eddy are invaluable in helping everyone understand how to practically interact with ex or divorcing partner.

This book provides a quick look into how people with Cluster B personality disorders think, and how "normal people" can understand interactions with such individuals and better respond to them. The BIFF acronym (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) is not only applicable to high conflict people, but is also a good guideline for dealing with people in general at the workplace or other such areas, where one has to deal with a number of people of varied backgrounds. This book provides an overview upfront and then delves into specific subheadings, each illustrated by a case study. I found the format helpful in understanding the content, and have practiced these techniques quite a few times already in my daily life.If you are even thinking about purchasing this book, you probably need it and I recommend buying it!

More useful bits from Bill Eddy: once you know you are living with - or divorcing from - a "crazy-maker", how do you communicate without continuing the same dynamic? This little volume presents very workable tips.

I bought this book for help in dealing with my ex, and it really was helpful. About half of the book was advice for specific situations that don't apply to me, but I liked that it was so far reaching even though I didn't need all of the targeted advice. It's pretty short - I thought the content was five star, but thought it was a bit over priced for the length. The advice in this book really helped me to take my emotional reactivity out of my communication with my ex, and my husband and I always read over my emails now with "BIFF" in mind before we hit send. Now if only I could get my ex to read it....

Not only have I made matters worse with "blamespeak," I have escalated conflict with "High conflict people" in a cycle of poor communication. The secrect is BIFF: Brief, Informative, Firm, and Friendly...avoiding emotion arguments. This book coaches on "how to."

Excellent resource pointing to managing high-conflict people. I've put it into practise numerously, with excellent results.

very little help dealing with VERBAL (which is fast and instant) responses. Mostly deals with written words. i need "in Your Face Right Now" verbiage to use

This is an excellent book. It gives suggestions that would have made life so much easier if I would have been told about this book.

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