Paperback: 150 pages
Publisher: Unhooked Books (September 16, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1936268620
ISBN-13: 978-1936268627
Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.4 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #232,769 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #70 in Books > Business & Money > Human Resources > Conflict Resolution & Mediation #309 in Books > Self-Help > Communication & Social Skills #821 in Books > Business & Money > Human Resources > Human Resources & Personnel Management
I will preface my review by saying I am a supporter of Bill Eddy and the High Conflict Institute's work. They provide ongoing, practical, easy-to-implement approaches to problem solving situations and challenging individuals.This book was one I wanted to have because you can never have enough approaches in interactions with resistant or aggressive people, with people who might have attack-dog personalities and behaviors.What I like is the how the book talks about brain science in a simple manner, then shows how you can redirect difficult people out of the negative, progress-inhibiting emotions and behavior into problem solving, encouraging their input, ideas and autonomy, which can lead to collaboration.So, what's your proposal is not some overly simplistic, impractical, and theory based. It's quite the opposite.In business or your personal life, it can be applied.The book reads easy, quick and makes you think.You will be happy with your return on investment (purchase price). I'm ready to start applying the thinking and techniques to become more effective and help highly emotional people learn new ways to help themselves solve their problems.
This approach to high conflict people is simple, direct and easy to implement in any relationship whether professional or in friendships. One does not need to have a PH.D. in order to have healthy communications and avoid the pitfalls of being in contact with high conflict individuals. Great and easy read.
I would recommend this book for anyone involved in a conflict or those in the helping professions dealing with conflict (lawyers, mediators, etc). Frankly, since we all will deal with conflict at one time or another, reading this book can benefit anyone navigating through life.As a mediator, this book was incredibly practical. It explained how to use specific questions (such as "So, What's Your Proposal?") to bring people to a place where they can solve problems. The author takes time to explain why these questions work.By the way, you can try out for yourself the question that is the title of the book. When someone complains about a problem of the past, ask them calmly, 'So, what's your proposal (or idea, or suggestion)? The book explains the whole process, but the question alone is valuable.Two more sections worth mentioning: 1) the strategies he suggested to keep calm during conflict, as he points out that defensive reacting is contagious, 2) the chapter explaining the concept of team-splitting- through telling a story of this happening in a community, he shows what it is (when a professional team splits in half and each side starts hating the other half) and what to do about it.I bought this book at a conference put on by the Heartland Mediators Association. I read the book within the week and have gone back to refer to it several times. A great addition to your library.
An effective book that provides practical advice accompanied by compelling and realistic examples. The author, a seasoned therapist turned attorney-mediator, lends credible insight to the dynamics behind high conflict situations. While the book is geared towards conflict resolution professionals, it will likely prove helpful to anyone who has ever or will ever encounter a high conflict personality, which is to say everyone. I just ordered another of Bill Eddy's books. I trust it will prove equally worthwhile.
Though I was reading this mainly to deal with co-parenting challenges, I found the other examples useful and helped to point out that many HCP (high conflict people) can be relatively high functioning.
HCP individuals abound. Good to get some solid practical advice from someone who has used it. Interesting insights into why these people get this way and how unaware of themselves and the consequences of their own behaviour.
The book is informative and easy to understand.
This should be a required reading by all family law mediators and parenting coordinators.
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