Free Where's The Mother?: Stories From A Transgender Dad Ebooks To Download
In a time when to most people “pregnancy” automatically means “motherhood,” what is it like to get pregnant, give birth, and breastfeed a child all while being an out transgender man?When Trevor MacDonald decided to start a family, he knew that the world was going to have questions for him. As a transgender man in a gay relationship, Trevor has gone through the journeys of pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing all while exploring (and sometimes defending) his role as a trans dad. Trevor and his partner tackle all the questions new parents are familiar with (Should we feed our baby breast milk or formula? Should we have a hospital or home birth?) and others perhaps unfamiliar (How can a man cope with gender dysphoria when going through such female-coded rituals as childbirth and breastfeeding? How can a person breastfeed after having had chest masculinization surgery? How do we find donor milk to supplement our own modest milk supply?).Luckily for the reader, Trevor explains his own answers to these questions with grace and humour. His stories convey the intimate and sometimes surprising realities of the transgender parenting experience. This memoir is a book about being a breastfeeding parent and a transgender man, and the many beautiful, moving, and difficult ways these two identities collide. “Where’s the Mother?” is a memoir like no other.
Paperback: 280 pages
Publisher: Trans Canada Press (May 8, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0991964500
ISBN-13: 978-0991964505
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #161,446 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #32 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Specific Groups > LGBT > Transgender #513 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting > Early Childhood #4799 in Books > Gay & Lesbian
As an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) I was excited to read this book. I've known about Trevor for years, since his blog post first came out about chestfeeding his first baby. Overall I found this book insightful and inspiring.I do, however, think that Trevor was able to go to extremes to get donor milk for his babies that most families couldn't manage. He and his husband go on multiple trips and pay large amounts to get the milk safely to their family; I think it would be difficult for a family of more modest means to get enough donor milk to ECF.Trevor also occasionally passes judgement on other lactating people (for example, one passage where he tries to decide if he wants to give his baby donor milk from a mom who eats fast food). I get what he was saying and maybe I, at some point of my life, would have had the same hesitation. My concern is that another potential chestfeeder may read this book as a manual and think "oh, I guess if I'm using donor milk or chestfeeding I shouldn't allow fast food, either" and I think it sets up an almost unattainable level of perfection that is so rarely reachable as a parent. Everyone does the best they can with what they've got.I am sensitive to this because lactation consultants like myself have a bad reputation for accepting nothing less than sheer perfection from nursing families. We are expected to count even one drop of formula as a failure; we have been labeled many unfortunate, unacceptable terms from families. I have learned in my experience with chestfeeding and breastfeeding families that 99% of people do the best job that they can, and that success comes in many different forms.
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